It's Not the Size That Counts...

...it's how you use it.

It seems like every day I have to read about how China is or is going to be the worlds largest whatever. Largest economy. Largest emitter of greenhouse gases. Largest collection of genius I.Qs. Largest buyer of cars. Largest internet user base. Largest collection of elite university professors. Largest space station. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Firstly, there is just far too much uncertainty in this world for any of these predictions to be reliable. I was just reading about the halting problem the other day (not there, but in Seth Lloyd's book). Likewise here, the only way we'll know what's going to happen is by waiting and seeing. I was watching Working Girl yesterday - great movie by the way- and a running theme through it was corporate takeover by Japanese firms. Yeah. I think Daikyo's had its day.

And yet every day we have to hear some whimpering politician talking about China taking its "rightful place", "ruling the world", that its "China's century". The repetition of these bromides really tries one's patience. Even if I was to put some faith in these predictions, I think to myself, who does this really affect? And what should we make of this?

Well, take things as they already are. China has a much bigger GDP than, say, Norway. It has bigger everything, probably.

But where would you rather be a local citizen? Oslo or Shanghai? I mean born and raised, not the expat lifestyle.

Listening to my Norwegian friends talk about growing up, and comparing it with what my Shanghainese friends tell me, at this stage Oslo sounds like a better choice. It might not be that way in the future- maybe Shanghai will be the envy of the world with regard to quality of life. Norway was very poor in the past. But my point here is that being the biggest really isn't something that would affect my decision in the slightest.

BBC Chinese Unblocked - Translated Comments

The BBC's Chinese website is, apparently, now unblocked in mainland China. I was browsing through the interactive section of the website and found a comments section with the title: BBC Chinese Unblocked - Your Experiences.

Anyway, I'm just taking a break from the reading I'm doing for university, and thought I'd give my shot at translating some of the comments- original post first, followed by translation. I might return and do some more later:

BBC 又在搞他那臭名昭著的小把戏了：花钱雇佣中国的小贱民（或称被雇佣的网上反华分子）来此污染中国人的大脑 了！西方搞数十年的对国民的洗脑很成功啊，倒是中国共产党半途而废啦，不过我们是中国人，不会听你继续骗人 和攻击中国，因为你BBC只有一个目的，就是让中国变得衰弱，你英国白人殖民者可心理平衡也可继续瓜分中国 ！做梦吧你。

F--KBBC F--KBBC BEIJING 中国

The BBC is up to it's notorious filthy tricks yet again: Hiring the underclass of China (or you might say 'the hired online Sinophobes') to come and pollute the brains of the Chinese! The West's decades long brainwashing of the citizens has really succeeded, whereas the Communist Party gave up half way through, but we're Chinese, we won't listen as you continue to deceive and attack China, because the BBC only has one goal, which is to weaken China, it doesn't bother you white British colonizers to keep carving up China! You're dreaming, you are.

F--KBBC F--KBBC BEIJING, CHINA

中国什么时候才能文明? 才能理性?
愚昧地抵制别人,到最后只能是自己被全世界孤立!!!

80后 北京

When will China finally be civilized? Finally be rational? The ignorant boycotting of others will only lead to being isolated by the world.

Post-80's Beijing

开放言论与思想是文明的基础。中国不仅需要经济发展，也需要政治进步。希望这种开禁是长期的，不是暂时的。

PLA China

Freedom of speech and thought are the foundations of civilization. China doesn't just need economic development, it also needs political progress. I hope this kind of unblocking is long term, not temporary.

PLA China

开通BBC，实在太高兴了，不过这肯定是中共的应景之举，奥运一过，就不会如此。中共独裁专制政党什么丧心 病狂的事都能做得出来！不过“解封”一天也好啊！

求实　 江苏

The BBC is opened up, I'm over the moon, but this tactic is definitely a temporary one from the CCP, after the Olympics, it won't be like this. No tactic is too depraved for that CCP dictatorship! But one day of 'unblockage' is still good!
Truth Seeker Jiangsu

能从中国国内浏览BBC网，网速很快!感觉很好。这种开放很有意义!看到你们让人马上想起你们的祖先来我国 贩卖鸦片烟,火烧圆明园的事了!但愿你们不要象你们父辈那样在网上放毒,来毒害我们!

林则徐 北京

Browing the BBC from inside China, the connection is really fast! Feels good. This type of easing of control is really significant! Seeing you lot reminds me of the fact that your ancestors came to our country peddling opium, and burned down the old Summer Palace! But I hope you lot aren't so like your forefathers that you'd spread poisonous ideas on the internet to harm us!

Lin Ze Xu Beijing (note: Wenlin has a listing for Lin Ze Xu 1785-1850, 'a Canton viceroy who tried to halt the opium trade')


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PS: I couldn't figure out a good way of translating: 解封 unblock in the context as it was used here, thus we have 'unblockage'.

Earthquake, and the Three Bigs of Chinese Speaking Foreigners.

My earthquake story is kind of bland; I was lying on my bed waking up from an afternoon nap and then started getting that feeling like the room was spinning. “Weird,” I thought, “haven’t had anything to drink for 2 days”. Then I realized that the room was not spinning, but my building was swaying. Then I went down to get some lunch and noticed everyone was standing outside in the courtyard, and I heard everyone speaking about an earthquake.

There is something else I’d like to mention though. I was in the elevator the other day, and just before the doors close I hear the pattering sound of someone in a hurry. I press the ‘open door’ button and a haggard woman approaches pushing a bicycle, which despite my efforts still gets crushed by the closing doors as she enters.

“Which floor?” I ask.

“Oh, thank you, 28^th, thank you”

“It’s nothing”. There was a short pause here and I thought for a moment we’d just ride the elevator up like normal folk.

“Your Chinese is really good-“

“No, no-“ Really, I’m thinking, I’ve said all of four words, and she’s complimenting me?

“-you could be like Dashan if you stay in China a while. This is your talent.”

“No no no”

At this point I arrived, and most curiously of all she called out in an odd, mystic tone,

“Goodbye, baby!”

***********************

It’s been said lots elsewhere, and it’s true. Regardless of whether you speak a little or a lot of Chinese, get ready for the Dashan comparison. I went to Tianjin on the weekend, and on the train one of my mates made a good point.

“Chinese is so competitive man. Every new foreigner you meet, you rate their Chinese. It wouldn’t happen with Spanish or something, why Chinese?”

I reckon he has a very good point. People seem to bestow a massive amount of awesomeness on non-Chinese (especially non-Asian) Chinese-speakers. Now, I admit, I also admire people who have put in the large effort required to get good. But I actually don’t really admire Dashan, Daniu, or Zhulian that much*. That is, 大山 (big mountain)， 大牛 (big cow) and 朱力安， who for the consistency of this blog could be called 大朱(big red) or even 大猪 (big pig- homonym, you see). I don’t really admire them that much because I don’t think being a professional crosstalk performer is a particularly cool thing (I have had to perform a joke once for a competition; it was very painful). Ah, you say, but they’re smart, look at their ability to make witty jokes.

Look, Dave Chappelle is funny. And in Chinese, I think Stephen Chow is funny, as is the Chinese dub of GTO that I watch (those crazy Japanese). But Dashan merely has a few clever jokes, Daniu is just up himself and has perfected his 'audience gaze' (hard to explain but it's infuriating), and Dazhu is not really that funny nor witty- he just speaks with a flawless accent.

On the other hand, I have lots of respect for some guys who write their blogs in Chinese. Such as: Brendan O’Kane, Alaric, John, and so on. I think there's just something cooler or more authentic about writing essays than performing stand-up.

Oh, and if we include Kevin Rudd in the Bigs, then he’d be 大陆- the motherland.

*In my eyes, the three most famous Laowai in Beijing, though the last two are more recent additions.

Anti-protest Protesters?

So I was just proxy-browsing the BBC Chinese news, and the headline there was "Thousands of Chinese Hold Peaceful Protests in Sydney".

Funnily enough I hadn't read anything about this in the actual Australian online news-sources, and then in the end of that BBC story that actually point out that this has been under-reported in Australia (getting only 10 seconds airtime on a local tv station apparently).

The article says there was about 5000 protestors, more than the 1000 which were expected when they organised the gig with the police. So it seems pretty newsworthy.

Weird. I trust the BBC to be accurate on this, as much as Chinese language reporting can be accurate (or media in any language, for that matter).

Oh, and as the title says, according to the BBC article they were protesting about what they perceive as unfair treatment that China has been getting over Tibet, and criticising the Tibetans for the violence in their protests.

Blogspot back in Beijing

Well, this is weird, but my blog and all others on Blogspot have just made themselves available here in Beijing. Perhaps this was decided at the 17th National Congress?

Whatever the case, it's cool.

And given that I'm stil having problems getting that other blog up and running here's a brief overview of life here.

It's good. The university is more 'Griffith' than 'UQ', but this means it's unpretentious. If anything the vibe is more like a highschool. The classes are quite intense. The difficulty is about that of what I was doing last semester in Brisbane, but instead of 5 hours a week it's 20 hours a week. Another difference is that the teachers can't resort to English to explain anything, because my class is almost entirely Korean and Japanese, and because the teachers can't really speak any English (our focused reading teacher does speak fluent French, though).

Theres some great friends, some whom I already knew from Australia, and we make a killer Mandarin speaking (and reading) crew when we hit the streets. It's great fun.

A photo would probably paint the rest of it much better than I could, such as the view from my room (have sinced moved rooms but its more or less the same). More to come on another day when the net here isn't snail-crawlingly slow.

The Australian - total n00b rag

I usually find The Australian to be pretty good, but this changes everything.

It's a n00b rag. This blog craps all over it. I posted about a similar subject recently, the biggest difference being I know exactly what I'm talking about, and The Australian has no idea.

Sometimes I'm just taken aback at the n00bness of some people. Natalie O'Brien clearly didn't bother to check any of what these moronic interviewers were telling her. And there is not a single mention of Counter-Strike (which is the most obvious target).

Reading 'Virtual Terrorists' (a total n00bfest of an article), I came across this:

Kevin Zuccato, head of the Australian High Tech Crime Centre in Canberra, says terrorists can gain training in games such as World of Warcraft in a simulated environment, using weapons that are identical to real-world armaments.

WTF!? Clearly this n00b hasn't even played WoW.

If you're a n00b like him, let me explain why.

Have a look at the list of weapons on WoW.

According to Zuccato, we should be worried about 'terrorists' turning up to wreak havoc with...a Ballast Maul of the Bear, identical to its real-world armament as you can see.


And the simulated environments...very worrying. It'll be far too easy to plot an attack in a place like this:


What terrorist traning is there to be had in WoW? Honestly, if you haven't seen it in action, try and tell me that Leroy's clan was plotting a real life attack. The only terror caused by WoW is a bit of healthy family wrecking, and Leroy Jenkins-ness.

However, the WoW kid does have a moment of profound insight. In case you missed the link.

"It's not the computer game that's seperating this family, it's what you're reacting to it!"

Well put, kid, well put.

UPDATE:

I am right and the Aus is wrong.

Read the other responses:

Here

Here

and Here.

This last one being particularly important, in showing the true story behind the 'terrorist' plot. Where did O'Brien get the idea that the bombs killed player characters? Virtual-coffins??
Players can't die in Second Life- end of story. O'Brien is writing her own fiction.

Best. Simpsons. Ever.

Just saw The Simpsons film, and it's brilliant. Weaves together the best wit and social commentary of the old episodes with the laugh out loud slapstick of the new ones. And doesn't succumb to seriousness.

Not much more to say really. Except that Grand Theft Walrus and Spiderpig almost killed me with laughter.

G is for Greenaway

Now that I've had some time for reflection, I've made up my mind about Peter Greenaway.

He's brilliant.

You'll not find a more confronting, entertaining, challenging or rewarding filmmaker than Greenaway. He completely manipulates the medium into unchartered territories. Like what Miles Davis did for the trumpet, he makes all feel fresh again. If I had to single out one aspect of his style which is most recognizable, it would be the enormous detail packed into each shot.


Some of the shots are just frame worthy; they practically stand alone as pieces of art. Incredible given that there's 24 in a second. And they are (from mid 90's and before) accompanied by intricate scores from Michael Nyman. The effect is genuinely unique amongst all the films I've watched.



All frames taken from 'Drowning by Numbers'.

I Want To Smash It

Another crushing defeat for Australia. I remember reading an article, probably around this time last year or so, in TIME magazine, regarding football. The idea in the article was that perhaps the rules of the game should be changed so as to lower post-game fury.

The author had a point.

Since the scorecard is usually so low, the entire game is often decided by a single goal. As it was tonight with the penalty shootout. Whilst similar situations can and do occur in rugby and in cricket, it does seem so much more common in football, and also harder hitting to the spectator. It's much easier to concede a loss when each side has racked up a large score. But if it's 1-0 or 2-1, the margin is that much more absolute, and that suddenness of it all is probably what inspires football hooliganism.

Even here, watching T.V in the lounge-room, to a relatively unenthusiastic spectator such as myself, the reaction upon losing was clear. Put enough alcohol in me, and I'd dare say I'd be out putting chairs through glass.

Man of Mystery

My brother has been watching a lot of Derren Brown, lately, and I've been watching a bit of it myself. It's quite entertaining really, and some of it is really impressive. His card handling skills, for example, really are brilliant.

Some of the other feats, however, I'm still skeptical of. Regardless of how good one's skill with persuasion or suggestion is, the mere fact that this is television should be an alarm bell for any rational person. And yet...It's certainly nice to believe that with the right application of behavioral science, one could affect such stunning results. There's also no question that in addition to being an excellent showman, he's an extremely intelligent guy. So it's thought provoking entertainment at worst, and I think that's better than most of the crap that passes by these days.

And, to his credit, attempts to dig up any dirt or proper criticism about him will turn up nothing.
Thus far, at least.

So, for now, enjoy.

My Favourite Republicans

A favourite Republican? Surely not! Well, like it or not, they're not all neo-con fanatics. Whilst I disagree with most of their policies, there are a few I'd like to single out as being moderate and rational, to the extent that I have respect for them and note their positions to be rational, logical and consistent.

My favourite Republican runner would have to be Ron Paul.

Of course my own choice for the election would be Obama, and I doubt Paul will actually secure the nomination since he's so at odds with the Christian Right of the GOP, but this video is certainly worth watching, particularly from 5:20 onwards. He's a foreign policy realist, not an idealist, and so I think that qualifies him as conservative, and not a neo-conservative.

Others call Paul, like that other likeable Republican Clint Eastwood, a Libertarian; that might be right, too, but I'd have to hear more of his views about other social issues. He defends his position on abortion well enough. I don't agree with him about gun ownership, immigration and free-market health care either, but at least his positions are consistent with the GOP, and are defensible. On the Libertarian/Republican angle: it's said (though it seems hard to be sure of this) that Matt Stone, of South Park fame, is a registered Republican.

So yeah: Ron Paul, Clint Eastwood and Matt Stone. Exceptions that prove the rule, perhaps, but worth remembering.

Finally, note also, in the video, the Fox technique of interviewing and shoving words in peoples mouths, which is also employed by Rudy G- who himself first looked like he may have been a moderate, rationalist but has since proved to buck under the pressure of the Christian Right.

Ronnie Chan, Regina Ip on Bloomberg

The original interview was taped in late June, apparently, but I just saw Bernie Lo's interview with property tycoon Ronnie Chan. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a linkable site, at least to those of us unsubscribed (such as myself). In any event, Chan made some interesting, some may say bold, points, suggesting that:

1. The opening of China is the biggest economic opportunity in the history of mankind.
2. The press in Hong Kong has more freedom under Beijing than it did under the British.
3. Hong Kong is moving too slowly compared with Singapore and Shanghai, and missing out on the prime opportunities.
4. Foreigners don't care about the economic future of Hong Kong.
5. Los Angeles, in the 1970's (whilst Chan was living there) had pollution problems that were comparable or worse than those China faces today.
6. Hong Kong already has universal suffrage.

He's extremely pro-business, yet one also detects a certain Anglophobia too, or at least bitterness. Perhaps rightly so, too, but I couldn't be sure on that.

I'm not sure on the facts about press-freedom, as I was under the impression that it was more heavily censored these days than before.

He also may be right in his optimism about the pollution problem. L.A has, according to him, come huge bounds since the 70's, and current technology should allow a faster transition.

I think, however, on the point of universal suffrage, he is completely mistaken. Bernie seemed to think as much, too. Chan was nonetheless a very persuasive, impressive man, and he knew how to debate in a civil manner.

Regina Ip, formerly security secretary of Tung Chee-Hwa's administration, made a small headline by saying Hong Kong doesn't need democracy for economic prosperity. I don't think that's at all controversial though, as it hasn't had democracy for all this time, and still had huge growth. China hasn't had democracy through its period of extraordinary growth either. Just a case of trying to find a headline I guess. But still, surely it's not simply for economic reasons that a democratic system is desirable.

Australians and the British

Some good confirmation of our preconceptions over at The Australian today.

"The point of this story is...the Aussies were fantastically brave and the Brits were a bunch of cowards..." explains BBC journalist Frank Gardner.

Mike Patton is Right...

Wolfmother, you suck.

Orwell

I've only read Animal Farm and 1984, but I thought they were both brilliant.

Nowadays though, Orwell has become something of a tool in oratory and debate; you can throw an Orwell into the mix to swing any argument your way.
Bush- Orwellian nightmare, Howard- read Orwell as a manual, any progressive politician- O'Brien waiting to happen.

I think it's kind of approaching cliche to be honest, but theres no doubt Orwell painted a chilling portrait of totalitarianism.

I usually don't think calling on Orwell is very helpful when criticising hardline neo-conservative governments though, as the idea of a free market seems antithetical to INGSOC.

I think criticism of such right-wing governments would be better achieved by pointing out the problems which are specific to it- corporate greed, class division and so on. Because unless it is specific to the form of government, then the Orwell card can be used against anyone, by anyone, which ultimately negates any significance.

So now I'm trying to think of some novelists who might be useful for this purpose. Thomas Pynchon perhaps, and certainly William S. Burroughs.

Zodiac

David Fincher's latest is by far his best, which is saying something.

It's a combination of his technical perfection, with regards to cinematography, visual effects and editing, the pitch-perfect performances (Robert Downey Jr is particularly entertaining) which he extracts from the actors, and a mature, intelligent and complex script.

The attention to detail in recreating the time-span of the period is unparalled. The soundtrack, fittingly, is totally cooking. And unlike some (all?) of Fincher's other films, there is a strict adherence to realism.

The film was shot entirely on digital but you'd never know it, really, as Harris Savides seems to have nailed the new medium on his first attempt, which is remarkable.

People may be expecting something akin to Se7en, but that's entirely the wrong comparison.

The film is more a crime saga along the lines of Heat, dealing more with the lives of those affected by the crime than the crime itself, and like that film, Zodiac is a rare masterpiece.

Baldwin - The Real Deal

There's a great lot of fuss over the answering machine message Alec Baldwin left for his 11 year old daughter. I can't see why this is seen as such a bad thing. In his signature irate tone, he berated her for standing him up, and called her a 'thoughtless little pig'.

I'm glad to see that Alec Baldwin is as much of a hard-ass in real life as he is portrayed on the screen. The only other actors I can think of who are as hard-ass in real life are Arnold, and perhaps Chuck Norris, though the latter is subject to some dispute. Actors like this don't have to ham things up for the big screen; they have to tone things down.

As far as I'm concerned, this ordeal only adds to the authenticity of his body of work.


Alec 'Real Deal' Baldwin

M.L.A vs Peta: Marketing

Readers will remember my uncharacteristic outburst a few months ago regarding the moral vanity of certain vegetarians.

Peta are smart though. Or at least, they've got a far better marketing team than Meat and Livestock Australia. Allow me to explain. Underlying both marketing campgains is an appeal to our baser instincts. Peta has realised that some instincts are more powerful than others.

Exhibit A:


The M.L.A's campaign, to quote directly from their marketing page, explains:
"The new Instinct ad shows that craving red meat is instinctive behaviour; in fact we’ve been craving it for millions of years."

The execution of the idea, in my opinion, lacked the aesthetics of the Peta campaign.

Exhibit B:


I think my case speaks for itself. M.L.A needs to hit back and sink to Peta's level; I expect to see a new campaign without Sam Neill, and would instead propose the following:


EXT. STREET - GREY AFTERNOON

A lone figure wrapped in a well-worn trench coat hobbles down a bleak alley. The sky overhead is washed out and colourless, like the pavement. The buildings are decaying, as are the tattered posters on the walls. They depict an extreme close-up view of a dictators face; it is Hitler. Beneath the menacing face lie the words
"Eat your greens like the Fuhrer. Meat is something that must be overcome."


The lone figure arrives at a nondescript doorway and knocks carefully five times. A viewing slide opens and a pair of eyes appear. There is a metallic snap and the door is opened.

INT. CORRIDOR
The figure enters a corridor and a slow, deep hum can be heard. As the figure walks down the corridor the hum grows louder; it is becoming rhythm, it is becoming beat. There is a door at the end of the dark corridor which beckons. As the figure finally reaches it, he pushes it open to reveal...

INT. BALLROOM
There is an exhuberant, surreal celebration taking place. The Russian disco-rock band Accident is blasting the song "Drink Beer, Eat Meat" from a stage that has been dressed in tribal-noveau. Red and purple light rages from all directions. Opium and cigar smoke fills the air, and grinning faces lay passed out on oriental pillows. Scantily clad young women and smiling young men bring trays of steaks, sausages and bread around to couples and singles alike, of various nationalities, who sit at huge wooden tables, and barbeques rage in the background with huge flames roaring. Little children run around belting drums, squirting tomato sauce on effegies of Hitler and playing catch whilst Japanese paper-walls reveal the shadows of copulating couples. Upon a dais in the center of the ballroom is a section of burlesque dancers playfully feeding each other mouthfuls of meat, and the camera pans up to a huge banner depicting five faces from different continents, and the words:
"Support the Anti-fascism, pro-liberation movement of the peoples of the world."

Of course, I'll happily write out a counter-campaign for Peta, for the right sum of money.

What the Ho?

Macau, from my small knowledge of the it, is an interesting place filled with interesting people.
For example, a son of Kim Jong-Ill's apparently lives there a lot of the time.

Paul told me about how Stanley Ho made heaps of money by owning the license to run a casino in Macau- apparently for a while he was the only one in town who had the license. Forbes say he's the 84th richest man in the world.

So what's he doing paying the New South Wales Labour Party AUS$109,000 in donations? I thought capitalist tycoon billionaires gave to the right, not the left.

Whilst he does apparently have 'significant property holdings in Queensland', where the ALP is also (thankfully) in power it seems an odd move. Perhaps he's going to start buying big in Sydney. Even stranger is that he payed AUS$48,000 for lunch with Premier Morris Iemma of NSW, and then skipped the lunch!

Billionaires. They're a foreign people.

Media Watching

I used to dismiss those who said you can't believe what you read in newspapers.
To be sure, there are plenty of paranoid conspiracy theorists who form crackpot ideas to counter what they read in the newspapers. But sometimes it's bleedingly obvious that reporters are doing a woeful job.

Thus I began to realise, of the many hideously frustrating things in this world, crap newspapers are up there amongst bamboo torture and novelty mobile phone ringtones.

I speak of course about The Courier Mail and the Cairns Post.

The Cairns Post is too easy a target (which I will no doubt attack in a later post), but The Courier Mail somehow commands respect here in Cairns.

Here's why it shouldn't.

Taken from The Courier Mail 10/1/07:
http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,21035290-3122,00.html

Sports retailer hits the spot

Justine Turner

January 08, 2007 11:00pm

Article from: AAP

TARGETED advertising in the lead-up to Christmas helped Rebel Sport lift sales by almost 15 per cent in the first half of 2006-07.

And then, taken from The Australian 10/1/07:

Rebel run slows as retailers hit hurdle

Blair Speedy

January 10, 2007

RETAIL group Rebel Sport reported slower sales growth in the last three months of 2006, as the Australian Bureau of Statistics reported that department store sales had declined for a fifth straight month.

Seems the Courier Mail article was rather poorly researched then. Nice one.

I suppose it is worth the time to read more than one newspaper, so that we may realise that what some people take as truth is often far from it.

And to all people out there thinking of becoming a journalist, don't worry if you're a moron. The Courier Mail (and AAP by extension) has plenty of space for you.