M.L.A vs Peta: Marketing

Readers will remember my uncharacteristic outburst a few months ago regarding the moral vanity of certain vegetarians.

Peta are smart though. Or at least, they've got a far better marketing team than Meat and Livestock Australia. Allow me to explain. Underlying both marketing campgains is an appeal to our baser instincts. Peta has realised that some instincts are more powerful than others.

Exhibit A:


The M.L.A's campaign, to quote directly from their marketing page, explains:
"The new Instinct ad shows that craving red meat is instinctive behaviour; in fact we’ve been craving it for millions of years."

The execution of the idea, in my opinion, lacked the aesthetics of the Peta campaign.

Exhibit B:


I think my case speaks for itself. M.L.A needs to hit back and sink to Peta's level; I expect to see a new campaign without Sam Neill, and would instead propose the following:


EXT. STREET - GREY AFTERNOON

A lone figure wrapped in a well-worn trench coat hobbles down a bleak alley. The sky overhead is washed out and colourless, like the pavement. The buildings are decaying, as are the tattered posters on the walls. They depict an extreme close-up view of a dictators face; it is Hitler. Beneath the menacing face lie the words
"Eat your greens like the Fuhrer. Meat is something that must be overcome."


The lone figure arrives at a nondescript doorway and knocks carefully five times. A viewing slide opens and a pair of eyes appear. There is a metallic snap and the door is opened.

INT. CORRIDOR
The figure enters a corridor and a slow, deep hum can be heard. As the figure walks down the corridor the hum grows louder; it is becoming rhythm, it is becoming beat. There is a door at the end of the dark corridor which beckons. As the figure finally reaches it, he pushes it open to reveal...

INT. BALLROOM
There is an exhuberant, surreal celebration taking place. The Russian disco-rock band Accident is blasting the song "Drink Beer, Eat Meat" from a stage that has been dressed in tribal-noveau. Red and purple light rages from all directions. Opium and cigar smoke fills the air, and grinning faces lay passed out on oriental pillows. Scantily clad young women and smiling young men bring trays of steaks, sausages and bread around to couples and singles alike, of various nationalities, who sit at huge wooden tables, and barbeques rage in the background with huge flames roaring. Little children run around belting drums, squirting tomato sauce on effegies of Hitler and playing catch whilst Japanese paper-walls reveal the shadows of copulating couples. Upon a dais in the center of the ballroom is a section of burlesque dancers playfully feeding each other mouthfuls of meat, and the camera pans up to a huge banner depicting five faces from different continents, and the words:
"Support the Anti-fascism, pro-liberation movement of the peoples of the world."

Of course, I'll happily write out a counter-campaign for Peta, for the right sum of money.